Saturday, June 26, 2004
Saturday, 12th. April, 2003
The chaos is still going on, fires raging, bank robberies, the robbery of the Iraqi Museum, and the Antiquities…
People are calling for help through the satellite channels…
Who would help us??? It is as if the whole world has abandoned us…
Gun fire noises in the streets… we do not know whether these are thieves, or resistance fighters…
****
At noon time, some Iraqi policemen appeared on T.V., volunteering to control the security in the cities…
Baghdad is sad, and gloomy…I am thinking about my brothers and sisters, where are they? What has become of them?
I wish they would return safely to their houses… that GOD would save them from all harm…
*********
Sunday, 13th. April, 2003
Abu-salih, the Gardener came, they are still alive…
Today, there are some news about a meeting at 9 a.m., between the occupation forces, and some high- ranking former Iraqi policemen, to organize patrolling the people's and the city's security.
We are all waiting for the outcome of this meeting, feeling optimistic about the return of peace to the country…
Helicopter planes are hovering at a low altitude since last evening, perhaps looking for the resistance men.
*****
Monday, 14th . April, 2003
The husband of my neighbor's friend has been missing for 10 days now, he and his car. He didn't come home. Yesterday, they discovered his body on the high-way to Karrada, with a bullet in his head, inside his bullet-torn car. Killed by the coalition forces.
Many volunteers evacuated the bodies from the streets, and notified their kin.
My neighbor will visit her daughter and her husband, who were wounded at their house by coalition forces bombardment of their neighborhood, because there was a nearby house which belonged to a friend of Uday's.
What is all this mis-hap?? What have these civilians done?
The coalition bombs a house where they think Uday is hiding, and many are wounded… the neighbor's son died…he was only 21 years old… the house fell on him.
What harm the poor fellow has committed? What is the fault of his parents?
These days we have seen many varieties of torment…
First- the terrifying air raids day and night.
Second- occupying the residential areas, blowing tanks and ammunitions belonging to the Iraqi army. So, houses would demolish, and civilians would die…
Third- the mob roaming around, the robberies and despoiling, the fires…
All of us are in doubt that these are Iraqis…
The poor Iraqis stole furniture, refrigerators, and coolers …. It's possible… but they wouldn't burn the Ministries, nor rob the National Museum… these are the acts of organized gangs, who came from abroad…awaiting the chance to strike…
People are saying that many mercenaries entered the country with the Americans… mercenaries from many nationalities.
Baghdad is sad, devastated, burned…
I wish peace would come back to Baghdad, the homeland of peace…
May god have peace and cool upon Iraq and the Iraqis…
They say police patrols are about to move about the cities…
When would safety come back?
When would electricity come back?
When would life come back???
*************
Tuesday, 15th. , April, 2003
Azzam and Raid went to my brothers and sister's houses, I feel relieved now…thank God they are all well.
Distances are far, there are no telephones, and no connections between places…
I went with my neighbor to her friend's house to give my condolences for her husband's death. She had three girls and a boy, the girl's are young, the eldest of them is only twenty years old…the boy is in primary school…
A photograph of her husband's hung in the reception room; he was in his mid-forties… with white hair. He was a merchant.
Her voice was sad…her face pale, she told many stories of his warm feelings and affection to his children, and how much he loved to help people…
My heart twisted in pain for her and her children, who became orphans…
The women in the room told many stories about families who died in their cars by random bullets, fired by the coalition forces…
My grief increased…for people, Baghdad…and for Iraq…
There is a meeting in Nassiriya today, between the coalition forces and the opposition party leaders….and there were demonstrations against that meeting.
*********
Wednesday, 16th. , April, 2003
I woke up very tired, as if my body was smashed…and so were my feelings.
Yesterday, when I went to the funeral parlor, all the scenes were very depressing and frustrated…women wearing black, weeping over a man killed by a stray bullet, talks about neighbors who died last night, and about bombardments of houses and residential buildings, and innocent people killed…
At night I couldn't sleep…the noises of continuous explosions frightened me, so I ran to another room, far away from the street…
In the morning, Abu-salih, the Gardener said that the occupation forces were blowing up Iraqi tanks in the Rathwania area.
*******
I feel that this war has devastated my personality, and shaken me…that my whole nervous system has become like fragile threads, from a lot of panic…day and night…I feel very weak, and exhausted, from my grieve for people and what has befallen them. For Iraq, for Baghdad…my darling beloved, and what happened to her…plunder, fire, and destruction…
And I tell myself: It all happened by the will of GOD, there is no god but GOD, no strength or possibility unless by the power of GOD…
And I remembered the Al-Kahaaf verse, from the Holy Quran, and the dialogue of Moses (God bless him) and Al-Kuther…
And Al-Kuther said to Moses: How could you be patient about something you know nothing of?
It is a great disaccord that has befallen us…and everyone makes a suggestion, and a speech…but no one comprehends the truth but GOD Almighty.
********
Thursday, 17th., April, 2003
I went to Al-Amiriiya and Al-Mansoor…I felt very sad about the shops whose windows were all broken, the houses and multi-story buildings, especially near Al-Sa'aa restaurant. Our shop was safe, and the shops near it were unharmed. This was the first time I saw it after the war. It was completely empty…when will we go back to work???
I don't know…nothing is clear yet…
*******
Friday, 18th., April, 2003
This was a great day…masses of worshipers gathered in the mosques…Sunni and Shiaat.
Dr. Ahmed Al-Kubaisi, the head of the sermon spoke, in a nice speech, asking the people to unite themselves and join ranks.
He said: do not give the occupation the chance to disband you… Sunni, Shiaat, an Arab, a Kurd, or Baa’thi.
After the prayer there was a protestation demonstration, in which the people said: Get out of our country before we kick you out.
We all felt happy that day… we felt we are still one nation, one hand…in agreement as to the unity of Iraq, and the necessity of the occupation departure. We asked GOD to safe keep Iraq and the Iraqis, and let this country be peaceful and comfortable…
*****
Raid will start working with a non-governmental organization, to make a count of the numbers of wounded and dead Iraqi civilians in all the provinces of Iraq. Majid started to work as a translator with non-governmental organizations… there are no schools, no universities…the young men have a lot of spare time on their hands, and anxiety, and a will to participate in something useful.
******
Saturday, 19th., April, 2003
An ordinary, boring day…and many tiring household chores…
I wish I could work with a humanitarian organization…but the shop will be reopened, and I will be back in my job in about a week, or more, so I could not engage my self with another job…
Khalid went to his collage, where they cleaned up their department and organized the library. Many things were robbed and scattered…but they didn’t set up a date to resume studying yet….
*******
I went to visit my sister…this was the first time I took out my car. Then I went shopping in Al-Amiriiya, bought some vegetables and fruits…the prices doubled three times from where they were.
Raid is working with the ( CIVIC ) organization, Majid with (Voices in the Wilderness). Khalid is still looking for a job…
I wish these days would pass very quickly, and our lives would settle-down, and go back to security.
*******
Sunday, 20th., April, 2003
An ordinary, boring day…Nothing new…
*****
Monday, 21st., April, 2003
Azzam and Khalid went to the glass shop near by the house; the man came and took measures of our broken windows, and by evening the new glass was in place…
I felt very happy, for the house will remain relatively clean, despite the dust and storms. Without glass, all the annoying noises will reach us very clearly, along with dust and hot air.
Of course I will remain afraid from fresh explosions, and the repeated breakage of glass, but I ask God it won’t happen again…
The neighbors also started a campaign of window repair…All prices rose up, of course, by the rise in demand, along with shortage of supply…due to absence of importation or local production.
*******
Tuesday, 23rd., April, 2003
Electricity came yesterday, and then went off. Perhaps it will take a long time to be fixed, and settle to function. The house needs extensive cleaning, carpet, curtains, and mattress wash…I need some help.
I went to buy household necessities…the sight of Baghdad is very depressing; it hurt me and broke my heart…
********
Wednesday, 24th., April, 2003
The sons of Abu-salih, the Gardener came to help me clean the house…we used water from the well, because the main water supply is very weak. We washed the carpets, curtains, and mattress.
I went to my neighbor’s in the afternoon, for tea. We sat in the garden, then went inside after we heard gun shots from an unknown source…
******
A tear for Baghdad…
I wished I could see a painter, and ask him to paint a painting with this topic…
He would paint the destroyed communication centers, the burned-up ministries, the blundered museum, the devastated National Library, which used to be filled with rare, unique scrolls. The universities that were robed of all documents and furniture…the streets of Baghdad, dirty, filled with garbage, and burned-up cars…
Yes…a tear for Baghdad…falls on my cheek…and the cheeks of all those who loved Baghdad.
*******
Translated by May.
The chaos is still going on, fires raging, bank robberies, the robbery of the Iraqi Museum, and the Antiquities…
People are calling for help through the satellite channels…
Who would help us??? It is as if the whole world has abandoned us…
Gun fire noises in the streets… we do not know whether these are thieves, or resistance fighters…
****
At noon time, some Iraqi policemen appeared on T.V., volunteering to control the security in the cities…
Baghdad is sad, and gloomy…I am thinking about my brothers and sisters, where are they? What has become of them?
I wish they would return safely to their houses… that GOD would save them from all harm…
*********
Sunday, 13th. April, 2003
Abu-salih, the Gardener came, they are still alive…
Today, there are some news about a meeting at 9 a.m., between the occupation forces, and some high- ranking former Iraqi policemen, to organize patrolling the people's and the city's security.
We are all waiting for the outcome of this meeting, feeling optimistic about the return of peace to the country…
Helicopter planes are hovering at a low altitude since last evening, perhaps looking for the resistance men.
*****
Monday, 14th . April, 2003
The husband of my neighbor's friend has been missing for 10 days now, he and his car. He didn't come home. Yesterday, they discovered his body on the high-way to Karrada, with a bullet in his head, inside his bullet-torn car. Killed by the coalition forces.
Many volunteers evacuated the bodies from the streets, and notified their kin.
My neighbor will visit her daughter and her husband, who were wounded at their house by coalition forces bombardment of their neighborhood, because there was a nearby house which belonged to a friend of Uday's.
What is all this mis-hap?? What have these civilians done?
The coalition bombs a house where they think Uday is hiding, and many are wounded… the neighbor's son died…he was only 21 years old… the house fell on him.
What harm the poor fellow has committed? What is the fault of his parents?
These days we have seen many varieties of torment…
First- the terrifying air raids day and night.
Second- occupying the residential areas, blowing tanks and ammunitions belonging to the Iraqi army. So, houses would demolish, and civilians would die…
Third- the mob roaming around, the robberies and despoiling, the fires…
All of us are in doubt that these are Iraqis…
The poor Iraqis stole furniture, refrigerators, and coolers …. It's possible… but they wouldn't burn the Ministries, nor rob the National Museum… these are the acts of organized gangs, who came from abroad…awaiting the chance to strike…
People are saying that many mercenaries entered the country with the Americans… mercenaries from many nationalities.
Baghdad is sad, devastated, burned…
I wish peace would come back to Baghdad, the homeland of peace…
May god have peace and cool upon Iraq and the Iraqis…
They say police patrols are about to move about the cities…
When would safety come back?
When would electricity come back?
When would life come back???
*************
Tuesday, 15th. , April, 2003
Azzam and Raid went to my brothers and sister's houses, I feel relieved now…thank God they are all well.
Distances are far, there are no telephones, and no connections between places…
I went with my neighbor to her friend's house to give my condolences for her husband's death. She had three girls and a boy, the girl's are young, the eldest of them is only twenty years old…the boy is in primary school…
A photograph of her husband's hung in the reception room; he was in his mid-forties… with white hair. He was a merchant.
Her voice was sad…her face pale, she told many stories of his warm feelings and affection to his children, and how much he loved to help people…
My heart twisted in pain for her and her children, who became orphans…
The women in the room told many stories about families who died in their cars by random bullets, fired by the coalition forces…
My grief increased…for people, Baghdad…and for Iraq…
There is a meeting in Nassiriya today, between the coalition forces and the opposition party leaders….and there were demonstrations against that meeting.
*********
Wednesday, 16th. , April, 2003
I woke up very tired, as if my body was smashed…and so were my feelings.
Yesterday, when I went to the funeral parlor, all the scenes were very depressing and frustrated…women wearing black, weeping over a man killed by a stray bullet, talks about neighbors who died last night, and about bombardments of houses and residential buildings, and innocent people killed…
At night I couldn't sleep…the noises of continuous explosions frightened me, so I ran to another room, far away from the street…
In the morning, Abu-salih, the Gardener said that the occupation forces were blowing up Iraqi tanks in the Rathwania area.
*******
I feel that this war has devastated my personality, and shaken me…that my whole nervous system has become like fragile threads, from a lot of panic…day and night…I feel very weak, and exhausted, from my grieve for people and what has befallen them. For Iraq, for Baghdad…my darling beloved, and what happened to her…plunder, fire, and destruction…
And I tell myself: It all happened by the will of GOD, there is no god but GOD, no strength or possibility unless by the power of GOD…
And I remembered the Al-Kahaaf verse, from the Holy Quran, and the dialogue of Moses (God bless him) and Al-Kuther…
And Al-Kuther said to Moses: How could you be patient about something you know nothing of?
It is a great disaccord that has befallen us…and everyone makes a suggestion, and a speech…but no one comprehends the truth but GOD Almighty.
********
Thursday, 17th., April, 2003
I went to Al-Amiriiya and Al-Mansoor…I felt very sad about the shops whose windows were all broken, the houses and multi-story buildings, especially near Al-Sa'aa restaurant. Our shop was safe, and the shops near it were unharmed. This was the first time I saw it after the war. It was completely empty…when will we go back to work???
I don't know…nothing is clear yet…
*******
Friday, 18th., April, 2003
This was a great day…masses of worshipers gathered in the mosques…Sunni and Shiaat.
Dr. Ahmed Al-Kubaisi, the head of the sermon spoke, in a nice speech, asking the people to unite themselves and join ranks.
He said: do not give the occupation the chance to disband you… Sunni, Shiaat, an Arab, a Kurd, or Baa’thi.
After the prayer there was a protestation demonstration, in which the people said: Get out of our country before we kick you out.
We all felt happy that day… we felt we are still one nation, one hand…in agreement as to the unity of Iraq, and the necessity of the occupation departure. We asked GOD to safe keep Iraq and the Iraqis, and let this country be peaceful and comfortable…
*****
Raid will start working with a non-governmental organization, to make a count of the numbers of wounded and dead Iraqi civilians in all the provinces of Iraq. Majid started to work as a translator with non-governmental organizations… there are no schools, no universities…the young men have a lot of spare time on their hands, and anxiety, and a will to participate in something useful.
******
Saturday, 19th., April, 2003
An ordinary, boring day…and many tiring household chores…
I wish I could work with a humanitarian organization…but the shop will be reopened, and I will be back in my job in about a week, or more, so I could not engage my self with another job…
Khalid went to his collage, where they cleaned up their department and organized the library. Many things were robbed and scattered…but they didn’t set up a date to resume studying yet….
*******
I went to visit my sister…this was the first time I took out my car. Then I went shopping in Al-Amiriiya, bought some vegetables and fruits…the prices doubled three times from where they were.
Raid is working with the ( CIVIC ) organization, Majid with (Voices in the Wilderness). Khalid is still looking for a job…
I wish these days would pass very quickly, and our lives would settle-down, and go back to security.
*******
Sunday, 20th., April, 2003
An ordinary, boring day…Nothing new…
*****
Monday, 21st., April, 2003
Azzam and Khalid went to the glass shop near by the house; the man came and took measures of our broken windows, and by evening the new glass was in place…
I felt very happy, for the house will remain relatively clean, despite the dust and storms. Without glass, all the annoying noises will reach us very clearly, along with dust and hot air.
Of course I will remain afraid from fresh explosions, and the repeated breakage of glass, but I ask God it won’t happen again…
The neighbors also started a campaign of window repair…All prices rose up, of course, by the rise in demand, along with shortage of supply…due to absence of importation or local production.
*******
Tuesday, 23rd., April, 2003
Electricity came yesterday, and then went off. Perhaps it will take a long time to be fixed, and settle to function. The house needs extensive cleaning, carpet, curtains, and mattress wash…I need some help.
I went to buy household necessities…the sight of Baghdad is very depressing; it hurt me and broke my heart…
********
Wednesday, 24th., April, 2003
The sons of Abu-salih, the Gardener came to help me clean the house…we used water from the well, because the main water supply is very weak. We washed the carpets, curtains, and mattress.
I went to my neighbor’s in the afternoon, for tea. We sat in the garden, then went inside after we heard gun shots from an unknown source…
******
A tear for Baghdad…
I wished I could see a painter, and ask him to paint a painting with this topic…
He would paint the destroyed communication centers, the burned-up ministries, the blundered museum, the devastated National Library, which used to be filled with rare, unique scrolls. The universities that were robed of all documents and furniture…the streets of Baghdad, dirty, filled with garbage, and burned-up cars…
Yes…a tear for Baghdad…falls on my cheek…and the cheeks of all those who loved Baghdad.
*******
Translated by May.
Sunday, June 20, 2004
السبت 12/4/003
حالة الفوضى مستمرة , والحرائق وسرقات البنوك وسرقة المتحف العراقي والآثار...
الناس يصرخون ويطلبون المساعدة من على شاشات الفضائيات ...
من سيساعدنا ؟
كأن العالم كله تخلى عنا....
صوت اطلاقات نار في الشوارع..لا ندري هل هم لصوص أم مقاومين للإحتلال..
****
ظهر على شاشة التلفزيون في وقت الظهر رجال شرطة عراقيون يتطوعون لضبط الأمن في المدن...
بغداد حزينة وكئيبة...
وأنا أفكر بأخوتي واخواتي , أين هم ؟
وماذا حل بهم ؟
اتمنى أن يعودوا لبيوتهم بأمان..وأن يحفظهم الله جميعا من كل سوء...
*********
الأحد 13/4/003
جاء الفلاح ابو صالح..ما زالوا على قيد الحياة.
اليوم توجد أخبار عن اجتماع في التاسعة صباحا بين قوات الإحتلال وقادة سابقين من الشرطة العراقية لترتيب حماية الناس والمدن...
كلنا ينتظر نتائج الإجتماع ويتفاءل بعودة الأمان للبلاد...
الهليكوبتر تحوم منذ مساء أمس على ارتفاعات منخفضة..ربما يبحثون عن رجال المقاومة.
*****
الإثنين 14/4/003
جارتي تقول ان صديقتها فقد زوجها منذ عشرة أيام , هو وسيارته , لم يعد للبيت.
أمس اكتشفوا انه ميت على الطريق السريع للكرادة, وبرأسه طلقة وهو داخل السيارة التي مزقها رصاص قوات التحالف...
متطوعون قاموا بإخلاء الجثث من الشوارع وتبليغ أهاليهم...
جارتي ستذهب لزيارة ابنتها وزوجها حيث جرحوا في بيتهم من قصف قوات التحالف لمنطقتهم, ثمة بيت مجاور لهم لصديق عدي...
ما هذه المصائب؟
ما ذنب الناس المدنيين؟
التحالف يقصفون بيتا يظنون أن فيه عدي..
وجرح الكثيرون, ومات ابن الجيران هناك عمره واحد وعشرون سنة, تهدم البيت عليه.
ما ذنبه هذا المسكين؟ وما ذنب اهله؟
هذه الأيام رأينا مراحل متعددة للعذاب..
أولا القصف الجوي المرعب ليلا ونهارا..
ثانيا احتلال المناطق السكنية ونسف الدبابات والذخائر التابعة للجيش العراقي , فتتهدم البيوت ويموت المدنيون
ثالثا الغوغاء والسرقات والنهب والحرائق ...
كلنا نشك أن يكون الفاعلين من العراقيين...
العراقيون الفقراء سرقوا الأثاث والثلاجات والمبردات...ممكن.
لكنهم لا يحرقون الوزارات ولا يسرقون محتويات المتحف الوطني ...هذه أفعال عصابات منظمة جاءت من الخارج...وتنتظر الفرصة للإنقضاض...
الناس تقول دخل مع الأمريكان مرتزقة من جنسيات شتى
بغداد حزينة محطمة محترقة...
اتمنى ان يعود السلام الى بغداد...دار السلام.اللهم بردا وسلاما على العراق والعراقيين...
يقولون ان دوريات شرطة ستتحرك في المدن....
متى يعود الأمان؟
متى تعود الكهرباء؟
متى تعود الحياة؟
*************
الثلاثاء 15/4/003
عزام ورائد مروا على بيوت أخواتي واخوتي...وأطمأنيت عليهم..الحمد لله كلهم بخير..
المسافات بعيدة , والهواتف مقطوعة, لا اتصال بين المناطق.
ذهبت مع جارتي الى بيت صديقتها لتقديم التعازي بوفاة زوجها...
عندها ثلاث بنات وولد...
بناتها شابات صغيرات الكبيرة في العشرين من عمرها...والولد في المدرسة الإبتدائية...
صورة زوجها معلقة في الصالون..عمره في نهاية الأربعين..شعره ابيض, كان يعمل في التجارة.
صوتها حزين ووجهها شاحب...وتحكي قصصا طويلة عن حنانه لها وللأولاد. وحبه لمساعدة الناس
..انعصر قلبي حزنا عليها وعلى أولادها الذين اصبحوا ايتاما...
النساء في الغرفة يتحدثن عن قصص شتى عن عوائل ماتت بسياراتها من اطلاق نار عشوائي من قوات التحالف...
زاد حزني...على الناس وعلى بغداد..وعلى العراق.
يوجد اجتماع في الناصرية اليوم بين قوات التحالف وقادة أحزاب المعارضة ...مظاهرات من العراقيين ضد الإجتماع.
*********
الأربعاء16/4/003
صحوت متعبة كأن جسمي محطم...وكذلك نفسيتي.
بالأمس حين ذهبت للفاتحة, كانت الطلعة كلها كئيبة ومحبطة.نساء يتشحن بالسواد, وبكاء على ميت بطلقة طائشة,وأحاديث عن الجيران الذين ماتوا صباح أمس...وعن قصف بيوت وعمارات وموتى أبرياء...
في الليل لم أتمكن من النوم...أصوات انفجارات مستمرة أرعبتني فهربت الى غرفة أخرى بعيدة عن الشارع...
في الصباح قال أبو صالح الفلاح, ان قوات الإحتلال كانت تفجر دبابات عراقية في منطقة الرضوانية.
*******
أحس أن هذه الحرب حطمتني نفسيا وهزتني..وجهازي العصبي أصبح كانه خيوط هشة من كثرة الرعب
ليل نهار...
وأحس بضعف شديد وارهاق, من حزني على الناس وما أصابهم, وعلى العراق, وبغداد حبيبتي, وما أصابها من نهب وحرائق ودمار....
وأقول لنفسي : كل شيء حدث بإرادة الله, لا اله الا الله, ولا حول ولا قوة الا بالله...
وتذكرت سورة الكهف, وحديث موسى عليه السلام مع الخضر...
وقال له الخضر: وكيف تصبر على ما لم تحط به خبرا؟
هذه فتنة عظيمة حلت بنا..وكل واحد يقول ويقترح...
ولا أحد يدرك الحقيقة سوى رب العالمين.
********
الخميس 17/4/003
ذهبت الى العامرية والمنصور...
حزنت على المحلات التجارية المحطم زجاجها كله. والبيوت والعمارات ..وخصوصا التي جوار مطعم الساعة.
محلنا سليم ولم يصب بسوء وكل المحلات التي بجانبه...هذه أول مرة أراه بعد الحرب. وهو فارغ تماما...
متى سنعود للعمل؟
لا ادري, لا شيء واضح بعد....
*******
الجمعة 18/4/003
كان يوما عظيما...
حيث تجمعت حشود المصلين في الجوامع من سنة وشيعة...
وتكلم الشيخ الدكتور احمد الكبيسي, والقى خطبة جميلة طالب الناس فيها بالتوحد ورص الصفوف..
وقال لا تعطوا فرصة للإحتلال ليفرق بينكم...سني اوشيعي أو عربي أو كردي أو بعثي ...
وبعد الصلاة نظمت مسيرة احتجاج...قال فيها المتظاهرون: اخرجوا من بلادنا قبل أن نخرجكم منها...
فرحنا جميعا هذا اليوم...
أحسسنا اننا ما زلنا شعب واحد ويد واحدة...متفقين تماما على وحدة العراق, وضرورة خروج الإحتلال .دعونا الله ان يحفظ العراق والعراقيين, ويجعل هذا البلد آمنا مطمئنا....
*****
رائد سيبدأ العمل مع منظمة غير حكومية لإحصاء الجرحى والقتلى العراقيين المدنيين في كل محافظات العراق .
ماجد بدأ يعمل مترجما مع منظمات غير حكومية...
لا مدارس لا جامعات...والشباب عندهم فراغ كبير..وقلق..ورغبة في المشاركة بعمل مفيد .
******
السبت 19/4/003
يوم عادي ممل...وأعمال منزلية كثيرة ومتعبة...
اتمنى أن أخرج للعمل مع منظمة انسانية...لكن المحل سيفتح وسأعود لعملي بعد اسبوع أو أكثر...
ولا أقدر أن ارتبط بعمل آخر...
خالد ذهب للكلية حيث نظفوا القسم ورتبوا المكتبة, أشياء كثيرة نهبت وتبعثرت.
لم يحددوا وقتا لبداية الدوام الدراسي بعد...
*******
ذهبت لزيارة أختي..هذه أول مرة أخرج بسيارتي.
ثم مررت على العامرية واشتريت خضار وفواكه...الأسعار تضاعفت ثلاث مرات عما كانت عليه.
رائد يعمل مع منظمة سفك, وماجد مع منظمة أصوات في البرية.
خالد يبحث عن عمل...
يعودون متأخرين وأظل قلقة عليهم...
اتمنى أن تمر الأيام بسرعة...ويعود لحياتنا الأمان والإستقرار....
*******
الاثنين 20/4/003
يوم عادي ممل...
لا جديد..
*****
الثلاثاء 21/4/003
ذهب عزام وخالد الى محل الزجاج القريب من بيتنا...
جاء الرجل وأخذ قياسات الشبابيك المكسورة...
في المساء تم تركيب زجاج النوافذ للبيت..
فرحت كثيرا...سيظل البيت نظيفا نسبيا, رغم الغبار والعواصف .
بدون زجاج , تصل الأصوات المزعجة بوضوح شديد...والغبار والهواء الحار.
رغم انني سأظل أخاف من الإنفجارات وتكسر النواقذ ثانية...لكني ادعو الله ان لا يحدث هذا ثانية...
الجيران ايضا بدأوا حملة اعادة الزجاج لنوافذ البيوت...
الأسعار ارتفعت طبعا...الطلب كثير...ولا استيراد أو تصنيع محلي .
*******
الأربعاء23/4/003
جاءت الكهرباء مساء امس...ثم انقطعت.
ربما ستحتاج الى وقت طويل حتى تتصلح وتستقر.
البيت يحتاج الى تنظيف شديد وغسيل للستائر والسجاد والبطانيات...
محتاجة لمن يساعدني..
خرجت لشراء أغراض للبيت ...منظر بغداد محزن ويؤلمني ويحطم قلبي...
********
الخميس 24/4/003
جاء أولاد الفلاح ابو صالح لمساعدتي في تنظيف البيت...
استعملنا ماء البئر...لأن ماء الحنفية ضعيف.
غسلنا السجاد والستائر والبطانيات .
ذهبت عند الجيران وقت العصر لأشرب الشاي..
جلسنا في الحديقة ثم دخلنا بعد سماع اطلاق نار...لا نعرف المصدر..
******
دمعة على بغداد....
تمنيت أن أرى رساما وأطلب منه رسم لوحة هذا عنوانها...
ويرسم فيها البدالات المحطمة من القصف, والوزارات المحترقة, ومتحف بغداد المنهوب, والمكتبة الوطنية المحترقة, وكان فيها مخطوطات نادرة ثمينة...والجامعات التي نهب أثاثها ووثائقها...
وشوارع بغداد القذرة الممتلئة بالنفايات وحطام السيارات المحترقة...
نعم , دمعة على بغداد....تسيل على خدي..وعلى خد كل من أحب بغداد.
*******
حالة الفوضى مستمرة , والحرائق وسرقات البنوك وسرقة المتحف العراقي والآثار...
الناس يصرخون ويطلبون المساعدة من على شاشات الفضائيات ...
من سيساعدنا ؟
كأن العالم كله تخلى عنا....
صوت اطلاقات نار في الشوارع..لا ندري هل هم لصوص أم مقاومين للإحتلال..
****
ظهر على شاشة التلفزيون في وقت الظهر رجال شرطة عراقيون يتطوعون لضبط الأمن في المدن...
بغداد حزينة وكئيبة...
وأنا أفكر بأخوتي واخواتي , أين هم ؟
وماذا حل بهم ؟
اتمنى أن يعودوا لبيوتهم بأمان..وأن يحفظهم الله جميعا من كل سوء...
*********
الأحد 13/4/003
جاء الفلاح ابو صالح..ما زالوا على قيد الحياة.
اليوم توجد أخبار عن اجتماع في التاسعة صباحا بين قوات الإحتلال وقادة سابقين من الشرطة العراقية لترتيب حماية الناس والمدن...
كلنا ينتظر نتائج الإجتماع ويتفاءل بعودة الأمان للبلاد...
الهليكوبتر تحوم منذ مساء أمس على ارتفاعات منخفضة..ربما يبحثون عن رجال المقاومة.
*****
الإثنين 14/4/003
جارتي تقول ان صديقتها فقد زوجها منذ عشرة أيام , هو وسيارته , لم يعد للبيت.
أمس اكتشفوا انه ميت على الطريق السريع للكرادة, وبرأسه طلقة وهو داخل السيارة التي مزقها رصاص قوات التحالف...
متطوعون قاموا بإخلاء الجثث من الشوارع وتبليغ أهاليهم...
جارتي ستذهب لزيارة ابنتها وزوجها حيث جرحوا في بيتهم من قصف قوات التحالف لمنطقتهم, ثمة بيت مجاور لهم لصديق عدي...
ما هذه المصائب؟
ما ذنب الناس المدنيين؟
التحالف يقصفون بيتا يظنون أن فيه عدي..
وجرح الكثيرون, ومات ابن الجيران هناك عمره واحد وعشرون سنة, تهدم البيت عليه.
ما ذنبه هذا المسكين؟ وما ذنب اهله؟
هذه الأيام رأينا مراحل متعددة للعذاب..
أولا القصف الجوي المرعب ليلا ونهارا..
ثانيا احتلال المناطق السكنية ونسف الدبابات والذخائر التابعة للجيش العراقي , فتتهدم البيوت ويموت المدنيون
ثالثا الغوغاء والسرقات والنهب والحرائق ...
كلنا نشك أن يكون الفاعلين من العراقيين...
العراقيون الفقراء سرقوا الأثاث والثلاجات والمبردات...ممكن.
لكنهم لا يحرقون الوزارات ولا يسرقون محتويات المتحف الوطني ...هذه أفعال عصابات منظمة جاءت من الخارج...وتنتظر الفرصة للإنقضاض...
الناس تقول دخل مع الأمريكان مرتزقة من جنسيات شتى
بغداد حزينة محطمة محترقة...
اتمنى ان يعود السلام الى بغداد...دار السلام.اللهم بردا وسلاما على العراق والعراقيين...
يقولون ان دوريات شرطة ستتحرك في المدن....
متى يعود الأمان؟
متى تعود الكهرباء؟
متى تعود الحياة؟
*************
الثلاثاء 15/4/003
عزام ورائد مروا على بيوت أخواتي واخوتي...وأطمأنيت عليهم..الحمد لله كلهم بخير..
المسافات بعيدة , والهواتف مقطوعة, لا اتصال بين المناطق.
ذهبت مع جارتي الى بيت صديقتها لتقديم التعازي بوفاة زوجها...
عندها ثلاث بنات وولد...
بناتها شابات صغيرات الكبيرة في العشرين من عمرها...والولد في المدرسة الإبتدائية...
صورة زوجها معلقة في الصالون..عمره في نهاية الأربعين..شعره ابيض, كان يعمل في التجارة.
صوتها حزين ووجهها شاحب...وتحكي قصصا طويلة عن حنانه لها وللأولاد. وحبه لمساعدة الناس
..انعصر قلبي حزنا عليها وعلى أولادها الذين اصبحوا ايتاما...
النساء في الغرفة يتحدثن عن قصص شتى عن عوائل ماتت بسياراتها من اطلاق نار عشوائي من قوات التحالف...
زاد حزني...على الناس وعلى بغداد..وعلى العراق.
يوجد اجتماع في الناصرية اليوم بين قوات التحالف وقادة أحزاب المعارضة ...مظاهرات من العراقيين ضد الإجتماع.
*********
الأربعاء16/4/003
صحوت متعبة كأن جسمي محطم...وكذلك نفسيتي.
بالأمس حين ذهبت للفاتحة, كانت الطلعة كلها كئيبة ومحبطة.نساء يتشحن بالسواد, وبكاء على ميت بطلقة طائشة,وأحاديث عن الجيران الذين ماتوا صباح أمس...وعن قصف بيوت وعمارات وموتى أبرياء...
في الليل لم أتمكن من النوم...أصوات انفجارات مستمرة أرعبتني فهربت الى غرفة أخرى بعيدة عن الشارع...
في الصباح قال أبو صالح الفلاح, ان قوات الإحتلال كانت تفجر دبابات عراقية في منطقة الرضوانية.
*******
أحس أن هذه الحرب حطمتني نفسيا وهزتني..وجهازي العصبي أصبح كانه خيوط هشة من كثرة الرعب
ليل نهار...
وأحس بضعف شديد وارهاق, من حزني على الناس وما أصابهم, وعلى العراق, وبغداد حبيبتي, وما أصابها من نهب وحرائق ودمار....
وأقول لنفسي : كل شيء حدث بإرادة الله, لا اله الا الله, ولا حول ولا قوة الا بالله...
وتذكرت سورة الكهف, وحديث موسى عليه السلام مع الخضر...
وقال له الخضر: وكيف تصبر على ما لم تحط به خبرا؟
هذه فتنة عظيمة حلت بنا..وكل واحد يقول ويقترح...
ولا أحد يدرك الحقيقة سوى رب العالمين.
********
الخميس 17/4/003
ذهبت الى العامرية والمنصور...
حزنت على المحلات التجارية المحطم زجاجها كله. والبيوت والعمارات ..وخصوصا التي جوار مطعم الساعة.
محلنا سليم ولم يصب بسوء وكل المحلات التي بجانبه...هذه أول مرة أراه بعد الحرب. وهو فارغ تماما...
متى سنعود للعمل؟
لا ادري, لا شيء واضح بعد....
*******
الجمعة 18/4/003
كان يوما عظيما...
حيث تجمعت حشود المصلين في الجوامع من سنة وشيعة...
وتكلم الشيخ الدكتور احمد الكبيسي, والقى خطبة جميلة طالب الناس فيها بالتوحد ورص الصفوف..
وقال لا تعطوا فرصة للإحتلال ليفرق بينكم...سني اوشيعي أو عربي أو كردي أو بعثي ...
وبعد الصلاة نظمت مسيرة احتجاج...قال فيها المتظاهرون: اخرجوا من بلادنا قبل أن نخرجكم منها...
فرحنا جميعا هذا اليوم...
أحسسنا اننا ما زلنا شعب واحد ويد واحدة...متفقين تماما على وحدة العراق, وضرورة خروج الإحتلال .دعونا الله ان يحفظ العراق والعراقيين, ويجعل هذا البلد آمنا مطمئنا....
*****
رائد سيبدأ العمل مع منظمة غير حكومية لإحصاء الجرحى والقتلى العراقيين المدنيين في كل محافظات العراق .
ماجد بدأ يعمل مترجما مع منظمات غير حكومية...
لا مدارس لا جامعات...والشباب عندهم فراغ كبير..وقلق..ورغبة في المشاركة بعمل مفيد .
******
السبت 19/4/003
يوم عادي ممل...وأعمال منزلية كثيرة ومتعبة...
اتمنى أن أخرج للعمل مع منظمة انسانية...لكن المحل سيفتح وسأعود لعملي بعد اسبوع أو أكثر...
ولا أقدر أن ارتبط بعمل آخر...
خالد ذهب للكلية حيث نظفوا القسم ورتبوا المكتبة, أشياء كثيرة نهبت وتبعثرت.
لم يحددوا وقتا لبداية الدوام الدراسي بعد...
*******
ذهبت لزيارة أختي..هذه أول مرة أخرج بسيارتي.
ثم مررت على العامرية واشتريت خضار وفواكه...الأسعار تضاعفت ثلاث مرات عما كانت عليه.
رائد يعمل مع منظمة سفك, وماجد مع منظمة أصوات في البرية.
خالد يبحث عن عمل...
يعودون متأخرين وأظل قلقة عليهم...
اتمنى أن تمر الأيام بسرعة...ويعود لحياتنا الأمان والإستقرار....
*******
الاثنين 20/4/003
يوم عادي ممل...
لا جديد..
*****
الثلاثاء 21/4/003
ذهب عزام وخالد الى محل الزجاج القريب من بيتنا...
جاء الرجل وأخذ قياسات الشبابيك المكسورة...
في المساء تم تركيب زجاج النوافذ للبيت..
فرحت كثيرا...سيظل البيت نظيفا نسبيا, رغم الغبار والعواصف .
بدون زجاج , تصل الأصوات المزعجة بوضوح شديد...والغبار والهواء الحار.
رغم انني سأظل أخاف من الإنفجارات وتكسر النواقذ ثانية...لكني ادعو الله ان لا يحدث هذا ثانية...
الجيران ايضا بدأوا حملة اعادة الزجاج لنوافذ البيوت...
الأسعار ارتفعت طبعا...الطلب كثير...ولا استيراد أو تصنيع محلي .
*******
الأربعاء23/4/003
جاءت الكهرباء مساء امس...ثم انقطعت.
ربما ستحتاج الى وقت طويل حتى تتصلح وتستقر.
البيت يحتاج الى تنظيف شديد وغسيل للستائر والسجاد والبطانيات...
محتاجة لمن يساعدني..
خرجت لشراء أغراض للبيت ...منظر بغداد محزن ويؤلمني ويحطم قلبي...
********
الخميس 24/4/003
جاء أولاد الفلاح ابو صالح لمساعدتي في تنظيف البيت...
استعملنا ماء البئر...لأن ماء الحنفية ضعيف.
غسلنا السجاد والستائر والبطانيات .
ذهبت عند الجيران وقت العصر لأشرب الشاي..
جلسنا في الحديقة ثم دخلنا بعد سماع اطلاق نار...لا نعرف المصدر..
******
دمعة على بغداد....
تمنيت أن أرى رساما وأطلب منه رسم لوحة هذا عنوانها...
ويرسم فيها البدالات المحطمة من القصف, والوزارات المحترقة, ومتحف بغداد المنهوب, والمكتبة الوطنية المحترقة, وكان فيها مخطوطات نادرة ثمينة...والجامعات التي نهب أثاثها ووثائقها...
وشوارع بغداد القذرة الممتلئة بالنفايات وحطام السيارات المحترقة...
نعم , دمعة على بغداد....تسيل على خدي..وعلى خد كل من أحب بغداد.
*******
Tuesday, June 15, 2004
Thursday, 10th. April, 2003
We went back home…
The road is accessible from Dora to Al-Saidia…
The streets were crowded, a lot of the passengers in the cars held white flags, with which they waved from the windows, fearing they would be shot at by the coalition forces…
Many people are walking about, carrying a few pieces of luggage, going back home…
The main intersection at Al-Dora, where the coalition forces passed a few days ago, is filled with bullets.
The street river is crowded with hundreds of used bullets, and unused bullets, as if they speak of an armed dialog which took place here…
*********
All the way home there were storage bungalows, official warehouses, or Al-Ba'ath party headquarters.
At first, I didn't understand what was happening, Men, women, and children were carrying furniture, fans and coolers, air-conditioners and cookers… carpets and curtains…
Who are these people? What are they doing???
I remained astonished, but Azzam said: they are robbing state property.
I couldn't believe it!!!
It was as if there were some kinds of instructions, or perhaps a whistle, which rang on and gave them the green light…
A shameful, degrading sight…
I looked upon them …. As if they were scum, the same scum which used to run and shamelessly clap for Saddam: by soul and blood we die for you…
I felt severe pain in my heart, a deep wound inside my soul…. What is happening?
************
We reached our house, and the neighbors' son came to us, and said: Do not be af raed, you will find all the windows broken and smashed…a missile fell down yesterday evening on the street, and smashed the windows of all the houses. Thank God no one died…
We entered the garage, walking towards the wooden main door, which was pulled out and thrown on the floor, as if someone pushed it and broke it…
Oh, God, I couldn't believe this…. All the metal parts of the door were pulled, scattered about, from the fierce explosion.
Thank God we were not here…
I would have died of fear…
We decided to start a cleansing campaign for the house…Majid and Khalid would gather and sweep the smashed glass…Azzam would fix the broken door.
Raed and I shall clean the house of the dust, and then wash the garage…
There wasn't a drop of water in the tanks, and no electricity in the house.
We turned on the generator, and then pulled water out of the well that has been dug behind the house…. Water…so we started to clean and wash the house….
The sight of our house was depressing….as if it has been abandoned for months…
There was dust all over the furniture, shards of broken glass filled the house, and even the pictures have fallen from the walls…
Artifacts fell from the shelves, on to the ground….
We started our campaign at 11a.m, and finished around 4p.m.
There was no food in the fridge, and we cleaned it of the fruits and vegetables that has perished while we were away. We fried some eggs for lunch.
Then, a warm bath for every one, clean clothes from the closet. The weather was starting to get warmer…
After cleaning, we put large sheets of nylon over the windows, until we could fix new glass for them.
But suddenly, there was a powerful explosion behind the house, new windows were broken, the nylon sheets flew away…. The pictures fell from the walls again….
And my heart fell from panic….
I kept shivering all evening, and night.
Suddenly, all feelings of safety disappeared.
Thursday \ evening…
I kept on reading verses from the holy Koran, so as to calm my self…. I cried, I don't know about whom…my self, or the people, or the cities?
Or for the way we all ended up?
A feeling of pain, defeat, and bitterness…
***********
The news says there is some fighting in Al- Mansoor and Al- Adhmiya, An opposition, Iraqis and Arabs…
And still the fear of what is to come…fear of tomorrow and what it might bring…
********
A Shia'at leader was assassinated in Najaf. I don't know him, but they say that America supports him.
Well,… to hell… I hate politics and politicians… I do not understand their language, or their interests…
********
All night long I hear the noises of tanks moving from the airport towards central Baghdad. And explosions in the dead of night… I don't know who is firing on whom????
My heart bleeds for Iraq….
I can not even sleep the night.
********
Friday, 11th , April, 2003
The garden is filling with flowers, in many colors… But my heart is sad, and cannot feel anything towards them.
Will this country ever be safe again? Shall we ever live peacefully?
These matters keep worrying me. I do not ever want to leave the country... I want to remain here...
I hope to God that all will be calm again; our lives would go back to normal.
Whenever we discussed the situation as a family, Azzam and I feel optimistic, but Raed says, in a sad voice as if slapping me:
Mother, but it is the occupation, how could every thing be all right?
As if he is saying: Mother, this is a dead man, how can you ask him to speak?
My heart sinks in sadness… yes, Raid is right. I lose my self in pain, and silence. ********
I kept listening to the holy Koran, remembering the verses that threaten the unjust, cruel, oppressors…
I thought of what happened to Saddam and those around him, how much they humiliated, oppressed, and hurt people…
Now their story is upon every tongue in the world. Their houses were bombed then robbed…. They are scattered in earth, no one knows where they are now. They disappeared, along with all who supported and befriended them, believed in them, and defended them...
These are the evidences that God shows to his serfs, so that they would think, and consider…
***********
Didn't they ever think that such a day would be upon them? Of course not, for the devil was their companion, promising them, tempting them…. And God listens, sees, and waits, for they might repent, or pray for forgiveness. But their hour came suddenly upon them… and what a shameful end it was… making the wise sad, and the enemy gloat…
You idiots, what have you done to your selves?
********
Friday \ Evening
Satellite channels are transmitting images of the thieves robbing Baghdad…burning ministries, and looting hospitals…
These are not a part of the people; these are enemies of the people…. They will destroy what the bombing has not destroyed in Iraq… destroy what is left…
Who would love his country, and then commit a thing like this??? These are scum… scum with no roots….
I remembered a sentence written by a novelist some time, that he has visited many cities, and found that thieves and prostitutes are the scum of every country… that he couldn't judge that country by these samples, because they are without a Patriotic feelings ,they do not belong anywhere…..
*********
My heart is sad for Baghdad… being blundered and robbed…
Baghdad of history and civilization…
As if the Mongols have entered again…
As if the waters of Tigris are black, because so many books were thrown in it. Books of science and knowledge.
********
In the morning I saw a sad story on TV.,…. The Americans blew an Iraqi ammunitions storage that used to belong to the Iraqi Army, in Utayfiiya. The residents gathered, trying to convince the Americans to move the ammunition far away, lest they should harm the people and the houses.
But the army dose not co-operate with the residents, blows- up the storage… destroying 20 houses, and burning a palm grove…
No civilians were hurt, because they had evacuated the houses, but came back to find them in ruins.
To whom would they complain??
The state had fallen; now there is an occupation… all rights are lost.
********
By the end of the night… and after calls for help by the Iraqis, through satellite channels, the news says that Bush will give instructions to the leaders of the occupation army to arrange meetings with Iraqi police leaders, the retired ones.
The priorities being:
- Restoring and controlling security.
- Restoring electricity and water supply.
- Restoring T.V. broadcasting.
- Restoring public transportations.
*********
In Mousel, Basra, and other Iraqi cities, popular comities were established, and chose leaders for them. They fought the thieves, and got back the stolen articles.
But Baghdad is very big…. Who would control the security in it? It is supposed to be divided into smaller sectors, and then the process of establishing the popular comities would start.
********
They burned some of the ministries: Planning, Irrigation, Commerce, Health, The Property Loan Bank, The Central Bank, and some of the hotels….
Who is to benefit from such ugly, harmful acts?
Iraq is filled with strangers and enemies….
But no honest Iraqi would commit such an act, Never…
********
We went back home…
The road is accessible from Dora to Al-Saidia…
The streets were crowded, a lot of the passengers in the cars held white flags, with which they waved from the windows, fearing they would be shot at by the coalition forces…
Many people are walking about, carrying a few pieces of luggage, going back home…
The main intersection at Al-Dora, where the coalition forces passed a few days ago, is filled with bullets.
The street river is crowded with hundreds of used bullets, and unused bullets, as if they speak of an armed dialog which took place here…
*********
All the way home there were storage bungalows, official warehouses, or Al-Ba'ath party headquarters.
At first, I didn't understand what was happening, Men, women, and children were carrying furniture, fans and coolers, air-conditioners and cookers… carpets and curtains…
Who are these people? What are they doing???
I remained astonished, but Azzam said: they are robbing state property.
I couldn't believe it!!!
It was as if there were some kinds of instructions, or perhaps a whistle, which rang on and gave them the green light…
A shameful, degrading sight…
I looked upon them …. As if they were scum, the same scum which used to run and shamelessly clap for Saddam: by soul and blood we die for you…
I felt severe pain in my heart, a deep wound inside my soul…. What is happening?
************
We reached our house, and the neighbors' son came to us, and said: Do not be af raed, you will find all the windows broken and smashed…a missile fell down yesterday evening on the street, and smashed the windows of all the houses. Thank God no one died…
We entered the garage, walking towards the wooden main door, which was pulled out and thrown on the floor, as if someone pushed it and broke it…
Oh, God, I couldn't believe this…. All the metal parts of the door were pulled, scattered about, from the fierce explosion.
Thank God we were not here…
I would have died of fear…
We decided to start a cleansing campaign for the house…Majid and Khalid would gather and sweep the smashed glass…Azzam would fix the broken door.
Raed and I shall clean the house of the dust, and then wash the garage…
There wasn't a drop of water in the tanks, and no electricity in the house.
We turned on the generator, and then pulled water out of the well that has been dug behind the house…. Water…so we started to clean and wash the house….
The sight of our house was depressing….as if it has been abandoned for months…
There was dust all over the furniture, shards of broken glass filled the house, and even the pictures have fallen from the walls…
Artifacts fell from the shelves, on to the ground….
We started our campaign at 11a.m, and finished around 4p.m.
There was no food in the fridge, and we cleaned it of the fruits and vegetables that has perished while we were away. We fried some eggs for lunch.
Then, a warm bath for every one, clean clothes from the closet. The weather was starting to get warmer…
After cleaning, we put large sheets of nylon over the windows, until we could fix new glass for them.
But suddenly, there was a powerful explosion behind the house, new windows were broken, the nylon sheets flew away…. The pictures fell from the walls again….
And my heart fell from panic….
I kept shivering all evening, and night.
Suddenly, all feelings of safety disappeared.
Thursday \ evening…
I kept on reading verses from the holy Koran, so as to calm my self…. I cried, I don't know about whom…my self, or the people, or the cities?
Or for the way we all ended up?
A feeling of pain, defeat, and bitterness…
***********
The news says there is some fighting in Al- Mansoor and Al- Adhmiya, An opposition, Iraqis and Arabs…
And still the fear of what is to come…fear of tomorrow and what it might bring…
********
A Shia'at leader was assassinated in Najaf. I don't know him, but they say that America supports him.
Well,… to hell… I hate politics and politicians… I do not understand their language, or their interests…
********
All night long I hear the noises of tanks moving from the airport towards central Baghdad. And explosions in the dead of night… I don't know who is firing on whom????
My heart bleeds for Iraq….
I can not even sleep the night.
********
Friday, 11th , April, 2003
The garden is filling with flowers, in many colors… But my heart is sad, and cannot feel anything towards them.
Will this country ever be safe again? Shall we ever live peacefully?
These matters keep worrying me. I do not ever want to leave the country... I want to remain here...
I hope to God that all will be calm again; our lives would go back to normal.
Whenever we discussed the situation as a family, Azzam and I feel optimistic, but Raed says, in a sad voice as if slapping me:
Mother, but it is the occupation, how could every thing be all right?
As if he is saying: Mother, this is a dead man, how can you ask him to speak?
My heart sinks in sadness… yes, Raid is right. I lose my self in pain, and silence. ********
I kept listening to the holy Koran, remembering the verses that threaten the unjust, cruel, oppressors…
I thought of what happened to Saddam and those around him, how much they humiliated, oppressed, and hurt people…
Now their story is upon every tongue in the world. Their houses were bombed then robbed…. They are scattered in earth, no one knows where they are now. They disappeared, along with all who supported and befriended them, believed in them, and defended them...
These are the evidences that God shows to his serfs, so that they would think, and consider…
***********
Didn't they ever think that such a day would be upon them? Of course not, for the devil was their companion, promising them, tempting them…. And God listens, sees, and waits, for they might repent, or pray for forgiveness. But their hour came suddenly upon them… and what a shameful end it was… making the wise sad, and the enemy gloat…
You idiots, what have you done to your selves?
********
Friday \ Evening
Satellite channels are transmitting images of the thieves robbing Baghdad…burning ministries, and looting hospitals…
These are not a part of the people; these are enemies of the people…. They will destroy what the bombing has not destroyed in Iraq… destroy what is left…
Who would love his country, and then commit a thing like this??? These are scum… scum with no roots….
I remembered a sentence written by a novelist some time, that he has visited many cities, and found that thieves and prostitutes are the scum of every country… that he couldn't judge that country by these samples, because they are without a Patriotic feelings ,they do not belong anywhere…..
*********
My heart is sad for Baghdad… being blundered and robbed…
Baghdad of history and civilization…
As if the Mongols have entered again…
As if the waters of Tigris are black, because so many books were thrown in it. Books of science and knowledge.
********
In the morning I saw a sad story on TV.,…. The Americans blew an Iraqi ammunitions storage that used to belong to the Iraqi Army, in Utayfiiya. The residents gathered, trying to convince the Americans to move the ammunition far away, lest they should harm the people and the houses.
But the army dose not co-operate with the residents, blows- up the storage… destroying 20 houses, and burning a palm grove…
No civilians were hurt, because they had evacuated the houses, but came back to find them in ruins.
To whom would they complain??
The state had fallen; now there is an occupation… all rights are lost.
********
By the end of the night… and after calls for help by the Iraqis, through satellite channels, the news says that Bush will give instructions to the leaders of the occupation army to arrange meetings with Iraqi police leaders, the retired ones.
The priorities being:
- Restoring and controlling security.
- Restoring electricity and water supply.
- Restoring T.V. broadcasting.
- Restoring public transportations.
*********
In Mousel, Basra, and other Iraqi cities, popular comities were established, and chose leaders for them. They fought the thieves, and got back the stolen articles.
But Baghdad is very big…. Who would control the security in it? It is supposed to be divided into smaller sectors, and then the process of establishing the popular comities would start.
********
They burned some of the ministries: Planning, Irrigation, Commerce, Health, The Property Loan Bank, The Central Bank, and some of the hotels….
Who is to benefit from such ugly, harmful acts?
Iraq is filled with strangers and enemies….
But no honest Iraqi would commit such an act, Never…
********
Thursday, June 10, 2004
I would like to thank my great American friend, Michael Richardson, a writer and graphic designer from Northampton, MA, USA, for his great effort, and for the time he spent designing the IRAQI CIVILIAN WAR CASUALTIES website. Michael emailed me some weeks ago offering to help me complete this great humanitarian job that started one year ago.
I was the country director of the first (and maybe only) door-to-door civilian casualties survey. Marla Ruzika was my American partner, the fund raiser, and the general director of CIVIC. Unfortunately, she didn't have the chance to publish the final results until now.
I decided to publish my copy of the final results of the Iraqi civilian casualties in Baghdad and the south of Iraq on the 9th of this month in respect to the big effort of the 150 volunteers who worked with me and spent weeks of hard work under the hot sun of the summer, in respect for Majid my brother who spent weeks arranging the data entry process, and in respect to the innocent souls of those who died because of irresponsible political decisions.
Two thousand killed, Four thousand injured.
Each one of these thousands has a life, memories, hopes. Each one had his moments of sadness, moments of joy and moments of love.
In respect to their sacred memory, I would appreciate it if you could spend some minutes reading the database file when I publish them, read their names, and their personal details, and think about them as human beings, friends, and relatives -- not mere figures and numbers.
I led the volunteers in their work in Baghdad, and the nine cities of the south: Karbala, Hilla, Najaf, Diwanyya, Simawa, Nasryya, Basra, Kut and Amara through my weekly visits. I went to the north for a couple of times, and arranged some smaller-scale surveys.
The survey teams were from the local areas: I made sure to create homogenous groups that reflected the ethnical, religious and gender ratios of the targeted regions. And I designed the survey form, all of which relied on my scientific background I gained from my M.Sc. researches, and relied on the very cooperative spirits of the volunteers and of the Iraqi families. We preferred not to include the military casualties to give our survey a civilian perspective.
Civilian: everyone killed outside the battlefield, even if his original job was military (e.g. a soldier killed in his house is a civilian). Military: everyone killed while fighting in a battle, even if his original job was a civic one (e.g. an engineer killed while fighting as a Fidaee) We had primitive and simple tools of research, yet I believe our survey is creditable and accountable.
Thank you again Michael, it wouldn’t be possible to announce this survey without your magnificent work.
I was the country director of the first (and maybe only) door-to-door civilian casualties survey. Marla Ruzika was my American partner, the fund raiser, and the general director of CIVIC. Unfortunately, she didn't have the chance to publish the final results until now.
I decided to publish my copy of the final results of the Iraqi civilian casualties in Baghdad and the south of Iraq on the 9th of this month in respect to the big effort of the 150 volunteers who worked with me and spent weeks of hard work under the hot sun of the summer, in respect for Majid my brother who spent weeks arranging the data entry process, and in respect to the innocent souls of those who died because of irresponsible political decisions.
Two thousand killed, Four thousand injured.
Each one of these thousands has a life, memories, hopes. Each one had his moments of sadness, moments of joy and moments of love.
In respect to their sacred memory, I would appreciate it if you could spend some minutes reading the database file when I publish them, read their names, and their personal details, and think about them as human beings, friends, and relatives -- not mere figures and numbers.
I led the volunteers in their work in Baghdad, and the nine cities of the south: Karbala, Hilla, Najaf, Diwanyya, Simawa, Nasryya, Basra, Kut and Amara through my weekly visits. I went to the north for a couple of times, and arranged some smaller-scale surveys.
The survey teams were from the local areas: I made sure to create homogenous groups that reflected the ethnical, religious and gender ratios of the targeted regions. And I designed the survey form, all of which relied on my scientific background I gained from my M.Sc. researches, and relied on the very cooperative spirits of the volunteers and of the Iraqi families. We preferred not to include the military casualties to give our survey a civilian perspective.
Civilian: everyone killed outside the battlefield, even if his original job was military (e.g. a soldier killed in his house is a civilian). Military: everyone killed while fighting in a battle, even if his original job was a civic one (e.g. an engineer killed while fighting as a Fidaee) We had primitive and simple tools of research, yet I believe our survey is creditable and accountable.
Thank you again Michael, it wouldn’t be possible to announce this survey without your magnificent work.
Tuesday, June 08, 2004
الخميس /صباحا 10/4/003
رجعنا الى البيت...
الطريق مفتوحة من جهة الدورة-السيدية....
الشوارع مزدحمة, فيها سيارات كثيرة يحمل الركاب علما ابيض يلوحون به من النافذة...خوفا من اطلاق رصاص يأتيهم من جهة قوات التحالف...
مشاة كثيرون يحملون امتعة قليلة...يعودون لبيوتهم..
التقاطع الرئيسي في الدورة مع الشارع العام , حيث مرت قوات التحالف قبل أيام...يمتليء بالرصاص
أرض الشارع عليها مئات من الطلقات المستعملة, وغير المستعملة, كأنها تحكي عن حوار مسلح كان يدور هنا...
*********
توجد على طريق العودة للبيت , مخازن ومستودعات للدولة, أو منظمات حزبية.
للوهلة الأولى, لم افهم ما يحدث, نساء واطفال ورجال...يحملون أثاثا ومراوح ومبردات ومكيفات وطباخات
وسجاد وستائر...
من هؤلاء؟
وماذا يفعلون؟
بقيت مندهشة...لكن عزام قال : هؤلاء ينهبون ممتلكات الدولة.
لم أصدق!
وكأن هنالك تعليمات , أو صفارة ما, صرخت وأعطتهم الضوء الأخضر...
منظر مخجل مهين....
نظرت اليهم...كأنهم حثالة, هي ذاتها الحثالة التي كانت تركض وتصفق بلا كرامة: بالروح بالدم نفديك
يا صدام...
أحسست بألم شديد في قلبي, وجرح عميق في نفسي...
ماذا يحدث؟
************
وصلنا البيت...جاء ابن الجيران وقال :لا تخافوا, ستجدون كل الشبابيك مكسورة ومحطمة...
سقط أمس مساء صاروخ في الشارع, وحطم نوافذ كل البيوت...الحمد لله, لم يمت أحد..
دخلنا الكراج...ومشينا باتجاه الباب الخشبي الرئيسي, فوجدناه مخلوعا وملقى على الأرض, كأن ثمة من
دفعه وحطمه...
يا الهي, لا أصدق, كل القطع الحديدية للباب , انخلعت وطارت من شدة الإنفجار..
حمدت الله اننا لم نكن هنا..
كنت سأموت من الرعب.
اتفقنا على حملة التنظيف للبيت.. ماجد وخالد يلمان الزجاج المكسور...
عزام يصلح الباب المخلوع...
رائد وأنا ننظف البيت من الغبار ونغسل الكراج...
لم يكن ثمة قطرة ماء في الخزانات...ولا كهرباء في البيت.
أدرنا المولدة, وسحبنا من البئر, المحفور خلف البيت , ماء...وبدأنا ننظف ونغسل البيت..
منظر بيتنا محزن...كأنه مهجور منذ شهور طويلة...
الغبار يغطي الأثاث...وشظايا الزجاج المحطم تملا البيت, والصور سقطت من على الجدران...
والتحف سقطت من على رفوف المكتبة الى الأرض...
بدأنا حملة التنظيف في الحادية عشرة صباحا...
وانتهينا في الرابعة عصرا...
لا يوجد طعام في الثلاجة, نظفناها من الفواكه والخضار التالفة من انقطاع الكهرباء اثناء غيابنا.
قلينا بعض البيض. كان الغداء...
ثم حمام دافيء للجميع, وملابس نظيفة من الخزانة.
الجو بدأ يميل الى الحر...
وبعد التنظيف, وضعنا قطعا كبيرة من النايلون على الشبابيك, لحين تركيب الزجاج للنوافذ...
لكن ثمة انفجار قوي حدث فجأة خلف البيت, وانكسرت نوافذ جديدة, وطار النايلون...وسقطت الصور عن الحائط مرة أخرى...
وسقط قلبي من الرعب...
بقيت أرتجف طوال المساء والليل...
ذهب الشعور بالأمان...اختفى فجأة...
الخميس/مساء
بقيت أقرأ آيات من القرآن لتهدأ نفسي...وجلست أبكي...
لا أدري على ماذا , على نفسي , أم على الناس, أم على المدن؟
أم على حالنا جميعا؟؟
شعور بالألم والخيبة والهزيمة....
***********
الأخبار تقول ثمة قتال في المنصور والأعظمية...
معارضة من عراقيين وعرب...
الخوف مما سيأتي....الخوف من الغد وما يحمله لنا...
********
اغتالوا احد زعماء الشيعة في النجف...
لا أعرفه, لكنهم يقولون ان اميركا تحبه..
فليذهب الى الجحيم...
أكره السياسة وأهل السياسة..ولا أفهم لغتهم ومصالحهم.
********
طوال الليل أسمع أصوات دبابات تمشي من المطار باتجاه مركز بغداد..
وأصوات انفجارات في سكون الليل الرهيب...لا أدري من يطلق على من ؟
قلبي ينعصر حزنا علىالعراق...
ولا أقدر أن أنام الليل....
********
الجمعة / صباحا 11/4/003
الحديقة تمتليء بالورود وبكل الألوان..
لكن قلبي حزين ولا يحس تجاهها بشيء...
هل سيعود هذا البلد آمنا ؟
وهل سنعيش عيشة كريمة؟
تظل هذه الأمور تقلقني , لا أريد مغادرة البلاد ابدا..أريد أن أظل هنا..
عسى الله يهديء الأمور وتعود حياتنا طبيعية...
كلما تناقشنا نحن العائلة بيننا في الموضوع...نتفاءل انا وعزام, لكن رائد يقول بصوت حزين كأنه يصفعني...
ماما , لكنه الإحتلال, كيف يمكن أن يكون كل شيء على ما يرام؟
كأنه يقول: ماما هذا رجل ميت, كيف تطلبين منه الكلام ؟
يغوص قلبي في الحزن...نعم , رائد معه حق .
وأغرق في الألم والصمت...
********
بقيت اسمع آيات القران, وأتذكر الآيات التي فيها تهديد للظالمين القساة المتكبرين..
وتذكرت ما حدث لصدام ومن حوله. كم استهتروا وظلموا وذلوا الناس..
والآن صارت قصتهم على كل لسان في العالم...
قصفت بيوتهم ثم نهبت...وتشردوا في الأرض..لا أحد يعلم أين هم الآن .
اختفوا جميعا, هم وكل من أيدهم وصادقهم وآمن بهم ودافع عنهم...
هذه آيات الله يريها لعباده...عساهم ينظرون ويتفكرون...
( ان بطش ربك لشديد...)
***********
الم يفكروا ان يوما كهذا سيأتيهم؟
لا طبعا..لأن الشيطان كان رفيقهم, يعدهم ويزين لهم اعمالهم...
والله يسمع ويرى وينتظر عساهم يندمون ...او يستغفرون.
ثم جاءتهم الساعة بغتة, ويا لها من نهاية مخزية...
تحزن العاقل وتشمت العدو...
ايها الحمقى , ماذا فعلتم بأنفسكم ؟
( فذوقوا العذاب بما كنتم تكفرون)
********
الجمعة/مساء
الفضائيات تبث صور اللصوص ينهبون بغداد...ويحرقون الوزارات, ويسرقون المستشفيات..
هؤلاء ليسوا من الشعب , هؤلاء أعداء الشعب...
سيدمروا ما لم يدمره القصف على العراق...
سيدمروا ما تبقى...
من يحب بلاده ويفعل هذا؟
هؤلاء حثالة...حثالة بلا انتماء..
اتذكر جملة كتبها روائي في زمن ما ...
انه زار مدنا عدة , فوجد أن اللصوص والنساء الساقطات..هم حثالة كل بلد.. ولا يقدر أن يكون فكرة عن ذلك البلد من هذه النماذج...لأنها بلا وطن...بلا انتماء .
*********
قلبي حزين على بغداد تنهب وتسرق...
بغداد التاريخ والحضارة.
كأن المغول دخلوها من جديد...
وكأن دجلة يسود ماؤه من أوراق الكتب التي احرقت....
كتب العلم والمعرفة.
********
في الصباح رأيت على شاشة التلفزيون قصة حزينة...
فجر الأمريكان مستودعا للذخيرة العراقية كان يستعمله الجيش العراقي...في العطيفية.
الأهالي تجمعوا حول الجيش يريدون اقناعهم بنقل الذخيرة بعيدا لئلا يؤذوا البيوت والناس
الجيش يمتنع عن التجاوب مع الأهالي ويفجر المستودع وينهدم 20 بيتا...واحترق بستان النخيل..
لم يصب أحد بأذى لأن الأهالي اخلوا البيوت...ثم عادوا فوجدوها مهدمة...
لمن يشتكون؟؟؟
سقطت الدولة وجاء الإحتلال...وضاعت الحقوق .
********
في نهاية الليل...
وبعد نداءات واستغاثات من العراقيين عبر المحطات الفضائية.
الأخبار تقول ان بوش سيعطي تعليمات لقادة جيش الإحتلال بعمل اجتماع مع قادة الشرطة العراقية
من المتقاعدين...
الأولويات:
اعادة الأمان وضبط الأمن
اعادة الكهرباء والماء
التلفزيون
وسائط النقل العام
*********
في الموصل والبصرة ومدن عراقية اخرى..
تشكلت لجان شعبية من المدن, واختارت رؤساء لها..
وضربوا اللصوص وأعادوا المسروقات.
لكن بغداد كبيرة...من سيقوم بضبط الأمن فيها؟
المفروض أن تقسم الى مناطق صغيرة...وتتم عملية تكوين اللجان الشعبية للسيطرة على المناطق.
********
احرقوا الوزارات: التخطيط/ الري/ التجارة/الصحة/ المصرف العقاري/ البنك المركزي/ وعدد من الفنادق...
من له مصلحة في هذه الأفعال القبيحة المؤذية؟؟؟
العراق يمتليء بالغرباء والأعداء....
ولا يقترف هذه الأفعال عراقي شريف , أبدا...
********
رجعنا الى البيت...
الطريق مفتوحة من جهة الدورة-السيدية....
الشوارع مزدحمة, فيها سيارات كثيرة يحمل الركاب علما ابيض يلوحون به من النافذة...خوفا من اطلاق رصاص يأتيهم من جهة قوات التحالف...
مشاة كثيرون يحملون امتعة قليلة...يعودون لبيوتهم..
التقاطع الرئيسي في الدورة مع الشارع العام , حيث مرت قوات التحالف قبل أيام...يمتليء بالرصاص
أرض الشارع عليها مئات من الطلقات المستعملة, وغير المستعملة, كأنها تحكي عن حوار مسلح كان يدور هنا...
*********
توجد على طريق العودة للبيت , مخازن ومستودعات للدولة, أو منظمات حزبية.
للوهلة الأولى, لم افهم ما يحدث, نساء واطفال ورجال...يحملون أثاثا ومراوح ومبردات ومكيفات وطباخات
وسجاد وستائر...
من هؤلاء؟
وماذا يفعلون؟
بقيت مندهشة...لكن عزام قال : هؤلاء ينهبون ممتلكات الدولة.
لم أصدق!
وكأن هنالك تعليمات , أو صفارة ما, صرخت وأعطتهم الضوء الأخضر...
منظر مخجل مهين....
نظرت اليهم...كأنهم حثالة, هي ذاتها الحثالة التي كانت تركض وتصفق بلا كرامة: بالروح بالدم نفديك
يا صدام...
أحسست بألم شديد في قلبي, وجرح عميق في نفسي...
ماذا يحدث؟
************
وصلنا البيت...جاء ابن الجيران وقال :لا تخافوا, ستجدون كل الشبابيك مكسورة ومحطمة...
سقط أمس مساء صاروخ في الشارع, وحطم نوافذ كل البيوت...الحمد لله, لم يمت أحد..
دخلنا الكراج...ومشينا باتجاه الباب الخشبي الرئيسي, فوجدناه مخلوعا وملقى على الأرض, كأن ثمة من
دفعه وحطمه...
يا الهي, لا أصدق, كل القطع الحديدية للباب , انخلعت وطارت من شدة الإنفجار..
حمدت الله اننا لم نكن هنا..
كنت سأموت من الرعب.
اتفقنا على حملة التنظيف للبيت.. ماجد وخالد يلمان الزجاج المكسور...
عزام يصلح الباب المخلوع...
رائد وأنا ننظف البيت من الغبار ونغسل الكراج...
لم يكن ثمة قطرة ماء في الخزانات...ولا كهرباء في البيت.
أدرنا المولدة, وسحبنا من البئر, المحفور خلف البيت , ماء...وبدأنا ننظف ونغسل البيت..
منظر بيتنا محزن...كأنه مهجور منذ شهور طويلة...
الغبار يغطي الأثاث...وشظايا الزجاج المحطم تملا البيت, والصور سقطت من على الجدران...
والتحف سقطت من على رفوف المكتبة الى الأرض...
بدأنا حملة التنظيف في الحادية عشرة صباحا...
وانتهينا في الرابعة عصرا...
لا يوجد طعام في الثلاجة, نظفناها من الفواكه والخضار التالفة من انقطاع الكهرباء اثناء غيابنا.
قلينا بعض البيض. كان الغداء...
ثم حمام دافيء للجميع, وملابس نظيفة من الخزانة.
الجو بدأ يميل الى الحر...
وبعد التنظيف, وضعنا قطعا كبيرة من النايلون على الشبابيك, لحين تركيب الزجاج للنوافذ...
لكن ثمة انفجار قوي حدث فجأة خلف البيت, وانكسرت نوافذ جديدة, وطار النايلون...وسقطت الصور عن الحائط مرة أخرى...
وسقط قلبي من الرعب...
بقيت أرتجف طوال المساء والليل...
ذهب الشعور بالأمان...اختفى فجأة...
الخميس/مساء
بقيت أقرأ آيات من القرآن لتهدأ نفسي...وجلست أبكي...
لا أدري على ماذا , على نفسي , أم على الناس, أم على المدن؟
أم على حالنا جميعا؟؟
شعور بالألم والخيبة والهزيمة....
***********
الأخبار تقول ثمة قتال في المنصور والأعظمية...
معارضة من عراقيين وعرب...
الخوف مما سيأتي....الخوف من الغد وما يحمله لنا...
********
اغتالوا احد زعماء الشيعة في النجف...
لا أعرفه, لكنهم يقولون ان اميركا تحبه..
فليذهب الى الجحيم...
أكره السياسة وأهل السياسة..ولا أفهم لغتهم ومصالحهم.
********
طوال الليل أسمع أصوات دبابات تمشي من المطار باتجاه مركز بغداد..
وأصوات انفجارات في سكون الليل الرهيب...لا أدري من يطلق على من ؟
قلبي ينعصر حزنا علىالعراق...
ولا أقدر أن أنام الليل....
********
الجمعة / صباحا 11/4/003
الحديقة تمتليء بالورود وبكل الألوان..
لكن قلبي حزين ولا يحس تجاهها بشيء...
هل سيعود هذا البلد آمنا ؟
وهل سنعيش عيشة كريمة؟
تظل هذه الأمور تقلقني , لا أريد مغادرة البلاد ابدا..أريد أن أظل هنا..
عسى الله يهديء الأمور وتعود حياتنا طبيعية...
كلما تناقشنا نحن العائلة بيننا في الموضوع...نتفاءل انا وعزام, لكن رائد يقول بصوت حزين كأنه يصفعني...
ماما , لكنه الإحتلال, كيف يمكن أن يكون كل شيء على ما يرام؟
كأنه يقول: ماما هذا رجل ميت, كيف تطلبين منه الكلام ؟
يغوص قلبي في الحزن...نعم , رائد معه حق .
وأغرق في الألم والصمت...
********
بقيت اسمع آيات القران, وأتذكر الآيات التي فيها تهديد للظالمين القساة المتكبرين..
وتذكرت ما حدث لصدام ومن حوله. كم استهتروا وظلموا وذلوا الناس..
والآن صارت قصتهم على كل لسان في العالم...
قصفت بيوتهم ثم نهبت...وتشردوا في الأرض..لا أحد يعلم أين هم الآن .
اختفوا جميعا, هم وكل من أيدهم وصادقهم وآمن بهم ودافع عنهم...
هذه آيات الله يريها لعباده...عساهم ينظرون ويتفكرون...
( ان بطش ربك لشديد...)
***********
الم يفكروا ان يوما كهذا سيأتيهم؟
لا طبعا..لأن الشيطان كان رفيقهم, يعدهم ويزين لهم اعمالهم...
والله يسمع ويرى وينتظر عساهم يندمون ...او يستغفرون.
ثم جاءتهم الساعة بغتة, ويا لها من نهاية مخزية...
تحزن العاقل وتشمت العدو...
ايها الحمقى , ماذا فعلتم بأنفسكم ؟
( فذوقوا العذاب بما كنتم تكفرون)
********
الجمعة/مساء
الفضائيات تبث صور اللصوص ينهبون بغداد...ويحرقون الوزارات, ويسرقون المستشفيات..
هؤلاء ليسوا من الشعب , هؤلاء أعداء الشعب...
سيدمروا ما لم يدمره القصف على العراق...
سيدمروا ما تبقى...
من يحب بلاده ويفعل هذا؟
هؤلاء حثالة...حثالة بلا انتماء..
اتذكر جملة كتبها روائي في زمن ما ...
انه زار مدنا عدة , فوجد أن اللصوص والنساء الساقطات..هم حثالة كل بلد.. ولا يقدر أن يكون فكرة عن ذلك البلد من هذه النماذج...لأنها بلا وطن...بلا انتماء .
*********
قلبي حزين على بغداد تنهب وتسرق...
بغداد التاريخ والحضارة.
كأن المغول دخلوها من جديد...
وكأن دجلة يسود ماؤه من أوراق الكتب التي احرقت....
كتب العلم والمعرفة.
********
في الصباح رأيت على شاشة التلفزيون قصة حزينة...
فجر الأمريكان مستودعا للذخيرة العراقية كان يستعمله الجيش العراقي...في العطيفية.
الأهالي تجمعوا حول الجيش يريدون اقناعهم بنقل الذخيرة بعيدا لئلا يؤذوا البيوت والناس
الجيش يمتنع عن التجاوب مع الأهالي ويفجر المستودع وينهدم 20 بيتا...واحترق بستان النخيل..
لم يصب أحد بأذى لأن الأهالي اخلوا البيوت...ثم عادوا فوجدوها مهدمة...
لمن يشتكون؟؟؟
سقطت الدولة وجاء الإحتلال...وضاعت الحقوق .
********
في نهاية الليل...
وبعد نداءات واستغاثات من العراقيين عبر المحطات الفضائية.
الأخبار تقول ان بوش سيعطي تعليمات لقادة جيش الإحتلال بعمل اجتماع مع قادة الشرطة العراقية
من المتقاعدين...
الأولويات:
اعادة الأمان وضبط الأمن
اعادة الكهرباء والماء
التلفزيون
وسائط النقل العام
*********
في الموصل والبصرة ومدن عراقية اخرى..
تشكلت لجان شعبية من المدن, واختارت رؤساء لها..
وضربوا اللصوص وأعادوا المسروقات.
لكن بغداد كبيرة...من سيقوم بضبط الأمن فيها؟
المفروض أن تقسم الى مناطق صغيرة...وتتم عملية تكوين اللجان الشعبية للسيطرة على المناطق.
********
احرقوا الوزارات: التخطيط/ الري/ التجارة/الصحة/ المصرف العقاري/ البنك المركزي/ وعدد من الفنادق...
من له مصلحة في هذه الأفعال القبيحة المؤذية؟؟؟
العراق يمتليء بالغرباء والأعداء....
ولا يقترف هذه الأفعال عراقي شريف , أبدا...
********
Friday, June 04, 2004
Sunday, 6th , April , 2003
Another dismal day… heavy bombardment to the airport area, announcement of a curfew from 6 p.m. till 6 a.m...
As there was no electricity, we operated the generator for a while in the morning, or night, as there wasn't enough fuel.
We emptied the refrigerator and the freezer, but so much of the food had perished. I felt more depressed as I thought of our house, what happened to my fridge and freezer? Is the house still intact, no shells had fallen upon it???
Shall we ever go home, or perhaps be like the Palestinians, who left their houses in1948, thinking that they would be back within the week, but never went back… still their grandchildren have the same dream, of returning home….
Far off dreams…
The water supply is very weak, we hardly collect a little to do the laundry and wash the dishes. I wash my hair at the sink; there was no shampoo, no soap, and no hand cream… I used some Iraqi shampoo, and some cheap soap, but there was no cream for my hands at night. I forgot all my personal things at home.
I do miss our life, our home…I feel so lonely…
*****
Monday, 7th , April, 2003
Another morning assult, 7 a.m. . . .The noises of bombardment, machine-gun fire, and war planes. Heavy dust is cloaking the city; I wondered how our house would fare, we didn't leave the windows tightly shut.
In the afternoon, we heard in the news about a multi-tons missile attack on several houses behind the Al-Sa'aa restaurant, they thought that Saddam Hussein had a staff meeting there; perhaps it was another disastrous hit like the Al-Ameriia shelter raid, with so many civilian casualties… but, as we do not leave the house, we hardly know what is happening.
Every body is hiding at home…
*****
Tuesday, 8TH , April, 2003
All is quiet… that was the first night without bombs and planes.
I slept since midnight till 7 in the morning … impossible… how dose the world look like without war???
All is quiet… and birdsongs…
Last night I remembered my sisters, friends, and neighbors … where are they? What happened to them??
It's as if I am not in Baghdad, as if I have traveled to a very far place…even though the distances are the same, but we can't contact each other, or know if someone is safe, or reach each other…
It is sad, the way Saddam and those with him are going to end, but I keep thinking back about all the harmful, stupid things he did. He was given a hundred thousand chances to do better, but he kept behaving in a cruel way to the people, he had no compassion to them, never thought of their welfare… only the few he had use of were basking in his favors, living a good life, while most of the people were miserable, crushed, and unjustly treated.
And who says his replacement would be better than he was???
Only the days to come would show us what is now hidden…
And all goes by the will of GOD ALMIGHTY.
*****
They say there are battles going on at the presidential palace area…
By evening we heard about the American bombardment of the Palestine hotel, and Al-Jazzera office. A number of journalists, reporters, and photographers died.
Another sad day….
****
Wednesday, 9th, April, 2003
Another morning battle on the road coming from Yousiffiya to Baghdad, at Al-Doora intersection … the noises of various weapons…then, quiet….
The neighbors said there were civilian martyrs on the main street, killed and their cars burned..
The American troops had orders to shoot any moving target.
People are afraid to collect the bodies of their relatives, the streets were not safe, suddenly an American patrol would appear, and the fire would burn- up.
****
At noon Azzam and I went to find out if there was away to go back home, the way to the main street had battle scars … cut electricity cables lying in the street, from the main electricity lines, broken curbs, holes filling the street from helicopter gunfire, burned Iraqi army vehicles, standing by the edge of the road, burned civilian cars, empty, for here the bodies have been pulled. But on the other road, the main road going to the airport …. Danger, do not get too close, they called it the (Death Road); they will kill any looming target.
So we went back to our relative's.
*****
Dust, bombardment, no electricity, imprisonment at home, curfew, and a parting from family and relatives… AND, a mysterious unknown future….
This sums it all….
*****
3 p.m., the American tanks came, then went into the side streets, then stood on the corner of the market place, the American flag waving, people moving about with their hands raised up, or holding white flags, this is how they heard the instructions…. There was a skirmish between some Ba'ath party members and the American troops, then all went quiet.
The tanks moved around in the area, people got into their houses, but kept watching from windows, or on roof tops, cautiously and fearfully.
We couldn't understand yet what happened??!!!
Where did Saddam Hussein go???
We saw him on T.V. yesterday, people carrying him up, clapping and praising him, like a fool. I think this is the end for him … I remembered the dream I saw before the war.
*****
By evening, we listened to Monte-Carlo radio station announcing that the people gathered in the Al-Firdouse square and pulled down the statue of Saddam Hussein.
No body could believe that!!!
What is happening??? How did we get to this end?? Where is the Iraqi army???
*****
I got up to the roof, then up on the parapet, gazing at Baghdad from far away...
The accursed black smoke has stopped, it is some time after sunset, the sky was clear, the air refreshing…
Some calmness shrouded the city after the hell of war…
Would the war really stop??
Shall we ever get back to our lives again??
I wish so, with all my heart…
*****
Thursday, 10th, April, 2003
We went back home…..
(to be continued…)
******************************
translated by May.
Another dismal day… heavy bombardment to the airport area, announcement of a curfew from 6 p.m. till 6 a.m...
As there was no electricity, we operated the generator for a while in the morning, or night, as there wasn't enough fuel.
We emptied the refrigerator and the freezer, but so much of the food had perished. I felt more depressed as I thought of our house, what happened to my fridge and freezer? Is the house still intact, no shells had fallen upon it???
Shall we ever go home, or perhaps be like the Palestinians, who left their houses in1948, thinking that they would be back within the week, but never went back… still their grandchildren have the same dream, of returning home….
Far off dreams…
The water supply is very weak, we hardly collect a little to do the laundry and wash the dishes. I wash my hair at the sink; there was no shampoo, no soap, and no hand cream… I used some Iraqi shampoo, and some cheap soap, but there was no cream for my hands at night. I forgot all my personal things at home.
I do miss our life, our home…I feel so lonely…
*****
Monday, 7th , April, 2003
Another morning assult, 7 a.m. . . .The noises of bombardment, machine-gun fire, and war planes. Heavy dust is cloaking the city; I wondered how our house would fare, we didn't leave the windows tightly shut.
In the afternoon, we heard in the news about a multi-tons missile attack on several houses behind the Al-Sa'aa restaurant, they thought that Saddam Hussein had a staff meeting there; perhaps it was another disastrous hit like the Al-Ameriia shelter raid, with so many civilian casualties… but, as we do not leave the house, we hardly know what is happening.
Every body is hiding at home…
*****
Tuesday, 8TH , April, 2003
All is quiet… that was the first night without bombs and planes.
I slept since midnight till 7 in the morning … impossible… how dose the world look like without war???
All is quiet… and birdsongs…
Last night I remembered my sisters, friends, and neighbors … where are they? What happened to them??
It's as if I am not in Baghdad, as if I have traveled to a very far place…even though the distances are the same, but we can't contact each other, or know if someone is safe, or reach each other…
It is sad, the way Saddam and those with him are going to end, but I keep thinking back about all the harmful, stupid things he did. He was given a hundred thousand chances to do better, but he kept behaving in a cruel way to the people, he had no compassion to them, never thought of their welfare… only the few he had use of were basking in his favors, living a good life, while most of the people were miserable, crushed, and unjustly treated.
And who says his replacement would be better than he was???
Only the days to come would show us what is now hidden…
And all goes by the will of GOD ALMIGHTY.
*****
They say there are battles going on at the presidential palace area…
By evening we heard about the American bombardment of the Palestine hotel, and Al-Jazzera office. A number of journalists, reporters, and photographers died.
Another sad day….
****
Wednesday, 9th, April, 2003
Another morning battle on the road coming from Yousiffiya to Baghdad, at Al-Doora intersection … the noises of various weapons…then, quiet….
The neighbors said there were civilian martyrs on the main street, killed and their cars burned..
The American troops had orders to shoot any moving target.
People are afraid to collect the bodies of their relatives, the streets were not safe, suddenly an American patrol would appear, and the fire would burn- up.
****
At noon Azzam and I went to find out if there was away to go back home, the way to the main street had battle scars … cut electricity cables lying in the street, from the main electricity lines, broken curbs, holes filling the street from helicopter gunfire, burned Iraqi army vehicles, standing by the edge of the road, burned civilian cars, empty, for here the bodies have been pulled. But on the other road, the main road going to the airport …. Danger, do not get too close, they called it the (Death Road); they will kill any looming target.
So we went back to our relative's.
*****
Dust, bombardment, no electricity, imprisonment at home, curfew, and a parting from family and relatives… AND, a mysterious unknown future….
This sums it all….
*****
3 p.m., the American tanks came, then went into the side streets, then stood on the corner of the market place, the American flag waving, people moving about with their hands raised up, or holding white flags, this is how they heard the instructions…. There was a skirmish between some Ba'ath party members and the American troops, then all went quiet.
The tanks moved around in the area, people got into their houses, but kept watching from windows, or on roof tops, cautiously and fearfully.
We couldn't understand yet what happened??!!!
Where did Saddam Hussein go???
We saw him on T.V. yesterday, people carrying him up, clapping and praising him, like a fool. I think this is the end for him … I remembered the dream I saw before the war.
*****
By evening, we listened to Monte-Carlo radio station announcing that the people gathered in the Al-Firdouse square and pulled down the statue of Saddam Hussein.
No body could believe that!!!
What is happening??? How did we get to this end?? Where is the Iraqi army???
*****
I got up to the roof, then up on the parapet, gazing at Baghdad from far away...
The accursed black smoke has stopped, it is some time after sunset, the sky was clear, the air refreshing…
Some calmness shrouded the city after the hell of war…
Would the war really stop??
Shall we ever get back to our lives again??
I wish so, with all my heart…
*****
Thursday, 10th, April, 2003
We went back home…..
(to be continued…)
******************************
translated by May.
Tuesday, June 01, 2004
Saturday, 5th Apri , 2003
We woke up suddenly, fearfully, on the noises of machine-gun fire, helicopters, and missiles. There was a battle raging outside, but we didn't comprehend anything.
We hid in the store room, amid rice and flour sacks, and the car’s spare parts. The store was small, and there wasn’t room for every one, so the women got inside, and the men remained outside … unbearable panic…
On the main street, coming from the south, probably the American troops were advancing towards Baghdad…
In half an hour or so, the battle ended, and all was quiet. The people went out to the street, coming back with the news… the American troops pulled back, and the streets were full of Iraqi corpses. We couldn’t understand what happened … and who would explain???
In the afternoon, Azaam and Raed went back home to get the small generator that used to be for the shop. There was no electricity, therefore, no T.V., and we wanted to watch the news.
Azaam and Raed said that in the areas adjacent to the airport there was a total evacuation, only vehicles belonging to the Iraqi army, and some soldiers were on the streets … the houses were empty.
My heart froze … feeling defeat …
Al-Sahhaf said that the American troops pulled back, and we have destroyed them … then took the journalists in a tour to the airport road.
The T.V. was broadcasting songs showing men carrying machine-guns, dancing, and indorsing Saddam Hussein. I remained stunned, for I do not usually watch Iraqi T.V. at home. But here I had to, there was no satellite receiver. I was hit in the face by this wretched media, and all those mis-led people …I had the inside feeling that these songs will not be broadcasted again, that they have become a part of some past that will never be back.
****
It is evening, my heart is sad … I remembered the Iraqi soldiers, lying on the pavements, under a canopy of bullets and danger, death approaching, surrounding them … what guilt have they committed ??? Why would they have to pay the price of a foolish man’s policy?? Deprived of their homes, families, and loved ones … defending Saddam, or defending us??? We people, sitting home, spending our times as it goes, waiting for this stupid game to end …
But these soldiers, they are inside the grinder of death…
Silent tears rolled down my eyes … Unknown soldiers … who would remember them?!!!
I truly wished we could help them defend Baghdad … but how???
I don’t know … I felt guilty, powerless to do anything…
*****
We woke up suddenly, fearfully, on the noises of machine-gun fire, helicopters, and missiles. There was a battle raging outside, but we didn't comprehend anything.
We hid in the store room, amid rice and flour sacks, and the car’s spare parts. The store was small, and there wasn’t room for every one, so the women got inside, and the men remained outside … unbearable panic…
On the main street, coming from the south, probably the American troops were advancing towards Baghdad…
In half an hour or so, the battle ended, and all was quiet. The people went out to the street, coming back with the news… the American troops pulled back, and the streets were full of Iraqi corpses. We couldn’t understand what happened … and who would explain???
In the afternoon, Azaam and Raed went back home to get the small generator that used to be for the shop. There was no electricity, therefore, no T.V., and we wanted to watch the news.
Azaam and Raed said that in the areas adjacent to the airport there was a total evacuation, only vehicles belonging to the Iraqi army, and some soldiers were on the streets … the houses were empty.
My heart froze … feeling defeat …
Al-Sahhaf said that the American troops pulled back, and we have destroyed them … then took the journalists in a tour to the airport road.
The T.V. was broadcasting songs showing men carrying machine-guns, dancing, and indorsing Saddam Hussein. I remained stunned, for I do not usually watch Iraqi T.V. at home. But here I had to, there was no satellite receiver. I was hit in the face by this wretched media, and all those mis-led people …I had the inside feeling that these songs will not be broadcasted again, that they have become a part of some past that will never be back.
****
It is evening, my heart is sad … I remembered the Iraqi soldiers, lying on the pavements, under a canopy of bullets and danger, death approaching, surrounding them … what guilt have they committed ??? Why would they have to pay the price of a foolish man’s policy?? Deprived of their homes, families, and loved ones … defending Saddam, or defending us??? We people, sitting home, spending our times as it goes, waiting for this stupid game to end …
But these soldiers, they are inside the grinder of death…
Silent tears rolled down my eyes … Unknown soldiers … who would remember them?!!!
I truly wished we could help them defend Baghdad … but how???
I don’t know … I felt guilty, powerless to do anything…
*****
